Everybody run...The lady at The Wal-Mart has a gun?

I don't like shopping at The Wal-Mart. The employees there creep me out. It seems that literally every time I go through the check-out some weirdy in one of those blue vests covered in various promotional buttons makes a comment to me that causes me to wonder, "Where do they get these worker-bees?" Monday was no exception. I was making a rather large purchase. One package of Orbit gum, a half gallon of milk, one loaf of bread, and a sympathy card. Four items. Not really even worth discussing. HOWEVER, The Wal-Mart employee strikes up a conversation that starts with, "Hey, how's it going?" "Fine, " I reply. "So, is your family good?" Not really his business, but I answer anyway. "They're great." Back to The Wal-Mart guy. "That's great to hear. 'Cause if you feel like you're going to kill anyone today, I'm going to try and get you through my check out stand as quickly as possible." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I'm fairly certain I bare no resemblance to a crazed psychotic killer, so I'm still wondering why he even asked. When I didn't respond, he handed me my sack, offered a semi-toothless smile and made my day by saying, "Well, here's your stuff. If things gets bad, stay away from guns!" My new slogan for the week. The Wal-Mart. Always Weird Employees. Always.

***Oops. I just realized that this story probably isn't actually appropriate since in our town, at that particular Wal-Mart there was someone with a gun, and that story didn't have a happy ending. I hope no offense is taken, but I felt I had to share this bizarre experience to warn future Wal-Mart shoppers everywhere. Beware the man in checkout stand 8. He. Is. ScARy!